i_aint_doin_ya

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 01:37:14 GMT

p.s.

I FORGOT HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE DANZIG!!!!

that is all.

laugh if you must.

it's been a while

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 15:08:41 GMT

hey ya'll,

i was never that good at using this thing, but when i noticed my last announcement was the "getting married" one, i figured i'd update. The picture in my previous post is one of a series i'm working on right now. i'm out in grad school in chicago right now. fun, but expensive, times. i've got a variety of projects going including a video made up of hollywood vietnam flashbacks and footage i shot at knob creek. knob creek, you may say, the whiskey? no, my friend, it is a three day long machine gun shoot in knob creek, kentucky (same place the whiskey comes from though). i'm going back in october with j-bone. it is fucking awesome! let's see, what else. i've got another one of my meat pics in an art show in rockford, illinois. it's this one:

i also work at the school, as an office assistant to a bunch of insane (and totally awesome) people in the writing department. i also ta for a lighting class. i've got an awesome brit in my class zoe, who has been cluing me in on british euphemisms such as "fanny" and "mind the gap" (pussy and anal sex being the equivalents). given the gun regulations of cook county, plus my laziness, and the range's expense, i haven't gone shooting in a while, something that will hopefully be remedied soon, possibly in humboldt. speaking of which, as ya'll probably know from jeriah's lj, we're coming up again. this calls for beer, fire, and drunken fun! i have also been gardening. i'm growing: corn, pole beans, butternut squash, yellow crook-neck squash, zucchini, okra, green grape tomatoes, black russian tomatoes, brandiwine tomatoes, sub-arctic plenty tomatoes, jalapenos, cayenne peppers, habanero and scotch bonnet peppers, yellow wax and santa fe grand sweet peppers, bell peppers, carrots, green onions, arugula, watermelon, cantaloupe, pumpkin, oregano, basil, cilantro, and, of course, these little guys:

they're called "peter peppers." this pic is from the website where i bought the seeds, they haven't started blooming yet. everything was started from seed. fun times. i also have a robin in a nest in my yard. i sit back there alot, drinking whiskey, watching fireflies and birds in my garden, and revel in the delightful saccharine of it all. we have black squirrels. i want to make a bunch of them into a coat. my mother is with me on it, but jeriah doesn't like the idea, he likes the squirrels. i like 'em to, but i'd really like them in coat form. i go out to galleries every friday night, get drunk on free booze and look at art. tonight i'm going to the museum of contemporary photography to an opening. i'm going specifically because a photographer i recently discovered and love will be there. her name is amy stein. here is one of my favorites from her "domesticated" series:

well, that's about all i have for you right now. at this rate, i'll see you all back in the land of lj in another two years.

-steph

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:20:03 GMT

Marrage Announcement (cross posted from jeriah's lj)

Sat, 13 May 2006 20:26:01 GMT

This is to formally announce that Jeriah Hildwine and Stephanie Burke will be married on Saturday, August 5, 2006, in Humboldt County, CA. Location and time will be provided on invitations which will be mailed out sometime between now and then. To this end, any person wishing to attend should provide Steph and I with your U.S. Postal Service mailing address, either in a comment to this entry, in an email to jeriah@hotmail.com, or by telephone or in person. The reason for this formality is that 1) space will be limited, and although adequate for all of our friends, it will not be adequate for a bunch of asshats we don't know that are expecting to get drunk for free, and 2) this is an actual wedding ceremony, not a party per se, so we only want people there that we actually know, and care about at least a little.

This being said, there will be a reception following the ceremony, at an adjacent location. The space will be ours until 2PM the following afternoon, and camping space will be available for those who want to stay up late and party hard. So if you go to church on Sundays, you might see if yours offers an afternoon service.

Some of you may have particular talents and may wish to help. This would be most excellent. The biggest area in which we would like assistance will be food. Anybody who is able to cook, however modest their talents, who would like to help, would be greatly appreciated. Reply to this post with a comment, or an email, if this is something you would be able to help with, and if you have any idea of what you'd want to make--if you don't know, say so, and we'll think of something for you. If enough people are able to bring food that we don't have to pay for catering, we'll spend the money on getting a keg, instead.

There are some other areas in which people may with to contribute, such as jugglers, fire spinners/poi/eaters, etc., also acoustic musicians and singers (no amplified music at this venue) who'd like to sing us songs, those with a talent for decorating, etc., etc. Just let us know what you can and would like to do and we'll see how we can fit you in.

jeriah

Tue, 09 May 2006 04:45:48 GMT

what up all you bitches. i am writing to inform any of you that haven't seen the lj post that j-bone will be in town tomarrow (tuesday) morning. he is mine for the first couple days that he is in town, but after that he is up for grabs to those of you who want to see him (NO SEX, HE IS MINE!). so if ya want to get hold of him, call my house, cus that is where he is staying.

-steph

this is for jeriah

Sat, 18 Feb 2006 09:16:17 GMT

as for the rest of you, go ahead and read it, if ya want. it is painfully cute and serves no other purpose than to explain a few of my reasons for lovin jeriah. if that is too much, or is a waste of your time, stop now. if ya just have to read it to make fun of me, go for it. at this point i don't really care.

ten reasons i love jeriah:

1) even at the most insanley sweaty and dirty moments, he manages to emit the smell of old spice, deodorant or no. it's fucking sweet!

2) he loves dino-botz more than anyone else i know, and he can paint them well to boot.

3) his capibility to maintain a logical train of thought when hammered is awesome, and his flawgic that eventually follows if he dosen't fall asleep is exponentially more intertaining.

4) guns. i need say no more.

5) the first thing out of jeriah's mouth when he met me (that is after bumming a cig he didn't actually need) was the "where do black babies go when they die" joke. one of the best introducions i've had.

6) he eats a mean beaver, which is always appreciated.

7) he has a brain, a sense of humor, and good d-erection, all of which he actually uses. potential is nice, but if ya don't actually do anything with it, it ain't worth shit.

8) he got me the best christmas present on the face of the planet.

9) anyone who can deal with as much as my shit as he has deserves a prize, which he will get when i get out to baltimore.

10) he pretty much doesn't lie. that is key. that is why he rules, 'cus even if what he says sucks, you can be pretty sure it is the truth.

i love you jeriah.

-steph

A treatise on love

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 10:15:31 GMT

A treatise on love (written, as only appropriate, when drunk)

To begin at the beginning, you must understand that I have been drinking 100 proof SoCo since9 o'clock this evening. It is now 1:45 a.m. Next we must account for the fact that sad music is essential to such writing. This is not to enhance the overly emo factor, but rather to allow oneself to be both critical but maintain the understanding that we are not writing on a biological experiment, but one of emotions. You may counter with the statement that emotions are a result of chemical reactions within the brain. I acknowledge this, however, emotions do not work like biological experiments, and anyone who has ever experienced them understands this.

On to love itself. I think that I am in love. With Jeriah. I entertain many a fantasy of getting married, living a life of passion etc., riding off into the sunset, whatever you want to call it. This is an interesting situation for reflection and analysis. I have been in love before. Many types of love, from the instant attraction that was soon proved useless, to the long-in-coming connection with potential for the future. However, none previous has ever seemed as plausible this current situation, so I must investigate.

Essentially, being in love is a security measure. To be in love is to have another human to “be” with. It is a companion that is assumed to have a degree of perminance. This is an essential human need. Humans are herd animals. Humans need other humans to survive. If you disagree, do your research. We live in groups. We are very vulnerable biological organisms. We have developed certain technologys that have helped our individual survival, but that dose not replace the psychological need for others of our own kind, nor the genetic need to stick together, if nothing more than a family or cohort group. The closer we are to the individuals of that group, the more invested we are in their safety, it is assumed the more they are invested in ours. Perhaps this is a flawed concept in our modern world, but we cling to it. Thus to be in love it the safest. The most is invested herein, thus the most return is expected. Being in love is biologically good. Obviously there are myriad examples to counter this, but is feel they are primarily social or individual.

Being in love is also terrifying. Because of the degree of investment, it is incredibly easy to destroy. To be in love it to put oneself at risk. It is to make oneself vulnerable. I do not like to feel vulnerable. I would much rather be an invulnerable wall to the world. Unfortunately, living as a wall is lonely and often times unfufiling. I know that all of you can give me plenty of counters to this statement, but I am not interested in those. I know they exist, I know that many of them have been great thinkers of the human race, but they are exceptions, not the rule. To love is to allow another to hurt you. That is the fear. This is a good fear, because most of the time you will be hurt (often as a result of your own actions). Love is a necessary evil.

I have been cruel in love. I have intentionally hurt those I am in love with many times, and unintentionally exponentially more times. know I am not alone in this. When you get hurt you protect yourself, even when it is your own damn fault. You throw the hammer across the room after you hit you thumb with it. Love hurts, and that is all there it to it. Is is cliché to say, but there is a reason things become cliché.

On the topic of work. Love requires work. To think you can be in love and maintain it without work it to delude yourself. It is never ending, and often thankless, work, till the day you die. Deal with it, it is better that the alternative. It is not always fun. Actually, working on love usually sucks total ass. It is painful, humiliating, and drawn out long past the point in which you want it to end. That is the way it goes.

There is no way to make it unquestionably worth it. But I think it is. Being in love in good. I want to be in love, and I am.

That is all I have to say. If you think I am full of shit, please tell me so.

-Steph

P.S.
Don't lie if you can help it. And yes, omission is lying in most situations. It just makes it worse.

festivus pictures

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 04:16:27 GMT

hey guys.

so yes, festivus was a success.

there was much destruction, debauchery, and flaming glory (the burn kind, not the homo kind).

i am attempting to collect pictures from festivus to put together a master record of the events, so i need all of your help.

if you, or anyone you know, was there and took pictures, please send them to me via e-mail: wham_doodle@yahoo.com, or burn to them to a cd and track me down.

anyone who wants a copy of this master record can have one when i'm done.

thanks ya'll to everyone who came. you all fucking rock.

-steph

sorry sack of shit (this was posted on myspace already)

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 10:08:36 GMT

For those you who'll say you'll never drink and drive,
you will.
For those you who'll say you'll never fall in love,
you will.
For those you who'll say you'll never be out of control,
you will.
For those you who'll say you'll never hate what you want,
you will.
For those you who'll say you'll never say anything untrue,
you will.
For those you who'll say you'll never question everything you have ever
thought, you will.
For those you who'll say you'll never fail,
you will.
For those you who'll say you'll never be here again,
you will.
For those you who'll say you'll never be this fucking retardedly emo and
rediculous, you will.
For those you who'll say you'll never need to learn these lessons,
you will.
For those you who'll say you'll never do anything but this,
you'll do otherwise.
For those you who'll say you'll never be as pathetic as this,
you'll be here someday.
For those you who'll say you'll never do something so sad,
i have no sympathy when it happens.
I hope you all rot in hell.
Then i'll finally be happy.
And for the rest of you, who know what i'm saying, stick by it, for it
may actually benefit you one day.

I know you are laughing, so fuck you all.

-steph

Here You Go ASSHOLES!

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 08:24:53 GMT

So a couple people bitched that i never put anything up on my livejournal. Well, here is something:

I just got done writing an essay on Geertz theory of the symbolic demensions of social action.

It is midnight and now i'm planning on going to bed.

I am bitter right now.

I want to drink some beer and read my book on the great influenza epidemic of 1918-1920.

Instead i am writing this...ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW?

I don't know what i want to do in the near future aside from go to school and read my books.

I am currently typing with one latex glove on. I believe it has some dead racoon residue on it. Oh well, rabies washes off dosen't it?

I thought of writing some emo poetry, but as far as i could get was: what the fuck, i don't know, give me a fucking beer. Yeah, watch out Poet Laurets of the world, Steph is hot on your tail.

As a result of fucking off most of this school symester, i have to make up a great deal of work ing the next two weeks, so if ya don't see much of me, deal. i wasn't doing most of you much good anyway (oh self deprication *grey emo star*).

I really like wearing this latex glove. I think i'll start doing it more often.

Good night.

-s

i give up

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 01:35:54 GMT

ya know, i never should have said anything on this goddamn webbernet shnitzil barn. it's all fucking recockuloso and i don't understand it. i'm gonna go back to chiseling out notes on slabs of stone, at least that way it takes so much time that i'll give up before i get any remarks further than "your goddamn mother put her..." i think that sitting before this shiny box of webbernetted glory is causing my brain to rot, and i think that i am getting stupider by the moment. i'm gonna go read a book, and i suggest that you go do you same.

bitches.

-steph

yep, i'm here too

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 10:33:06 GMT

i hate you all. it's true, no love, etc...etc...etc...